In 2004, my partner and I decided we wanted to become parents. We figured all we needed was some donor sperm, the help of a local fertility clinic, and maybe a bit of luck. Wow were we wrong. It took 11 active IUI cycles over 15 months, two surgeries, several scans, countless blood tests, two clinics, three doctors, endless acupuncture, and thousands upon thousands of dollars to conceive our daughter, born in 2008. Our redoubled efforts to have a second child weren't successful, and those included many cycles of superovulation/IUI, 3 rounds of IVF, at-home tries with fresh sperm from a friend, all resulting in enormous debt and heartbreak. Throughout those years I felt isolated in our efforts; there were few folks we knew on the same interventionist journey to parenthood, and none in our LGBTQ friendship group.
These experiences tested me deeply and made me challenge my beliefs about mastery and control, my life's purpose, health and wellness, family, queerness, the medical system, and community. I learned so much, and felt compelled to share. So in 2013, I started hosting regular in-person support groups for the LGBTQ community in the Greater Vancouver, BC area, and then expanded my offerings to include in-person and virtual fertility coaching, as well as a secret (unsearchable! private!) Facebook group for folks to find support, information and community. The Facebook group is now international and has over 1,000 members, and is perhaps the most gratifying thing I have ever been involved in.
I still love to provide fertility coaching as part of my Hope and Wonder practice, with a focus on managing its emotional impact rather than the physical aspects. Please get in touch to set up a FREE 30 minute coaching discovery session to talk about where you're at, or if you'd like to join the Facebook group.
Hope and Wonder Life Coaching
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